You know you
have been working on standards too long when:
The process
becomes more important than the product.
Meeting minutes
become very important to you.
You understand
the reason for different colors of money.
You don't see
anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing
about.
You feel you
contributed to the meeting by simply being there.
You realize that
a paperless office is impossible. Actually you believe it is possible,
just not yours.
You keep
documents/manuals on projects that have been long since canceled.
You stop raising
issues/problems because you know you will be the one answering them.
You understand
the rationalization of an acronym comprised of acronyms.
You believe that
40 hours charged to one code is lazy, but 40 hours charged to multiple
codes is initiative.
You know the
proper number of blank spaces that should follow a roman numeral index.
You often use the
word SHALL while writing.
You work for an
acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym.
Knowing that a
squeaky wheel gets either oiled (good) or replaced (bad), you remain
silent.
You've sat at the
same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, buthave had 3 different business cards.
(change in: chain of command, job title, or division renamed).
The Plan
In the Beginning was The Plan.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And The Plan was completely without substance.
And the darkness was upon the face of the workers.
"It is a crock of shit and it stinketh."
And the workers went unto the Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers.
and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong.
Such that none may abide it."
And the Managers went unto the Directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide it."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents.
And sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth, and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President.
And sayeth unto him,
This new Plan will actively promote the growth
And efficiency of this Company
And these areas in particular.
And the President looked upon the Plan.
And he saw that it was good, and the Plan became Policy.
This is how Shit Happens!
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